Behind the Wall
by LBugMJFF
Summary: Set in District 13, a week after his first meeting with Katniss, Peeta Mellark struggles to regain his memories. Peeta POV, canon-divergence. Co-authored by Lbug84 & MockingjayFlyingFree
1. Awakening

_We wanted to wait to begin this story until our open WIPs Miner's Wife and 7 Steps were finished. But OMG the TV spot with hijacked Peeta just killed us! So here it is, early, our hijakced Peeta fic. _

_Set in District 13 about a week after the choking "incident." We own nothing. This is a canon-divergent fic based on the wonderful characters created by Suzanne Collins._

_Yes, there will be smut. Don't you know us at all?_

_Chelzie beta'd, Lauralulubee preread. Thank you, ladies!_

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><p>I wake up in a cold sweat, still frozen in fear.<p>

"It was just a dream," I try to tell myself. But it seemed so real and it lasted so long. I blink against the fluorescent light above me, the edges shimmering a golden hue and causing a chill to tingle down my spine... but then the gold fades away. Nothing in here is shiny.

I take in my surroundings, but they're not familiar. It's too cool to be my bedroom above the bakery. My brothers arranged our beds so that mine is the one above the faulty oven, and even in the worst winters I'd sweat uncomfortably. Heat might've seemed like a luxury to some, but being too hot is just as troublesome as being too cold. Dehydrated from sweating, disoriented from heat that feels like a fever. But not right now. There are goose bumps on my skin.

This isn't 12.

I inhale deeply, but there's no familiar scent. No rosy smell wafting through the air. No aroma of food being served in the distance. No... This isn't my room in the training center either.

I shut my eyes and will my breath to stay even. Is it possible that I'm still in my nightmare? In the single room cell I've dreamed about for weeks. It was bright in there, too. All white with shimmery golden accents. A single cot in the center, a toilet in the corner. It was a cell. It was my cell.

I open my eyes. The walls here are gray. This isn't my cell either.

Then where am I?

I hear the sound of running water in the distance as I turn my ear towards it. I see a door not ten feet away. It's ajar, and steam forms clouds as it exits the room. Wherever I am, there are at least two rooms. I push myself to a standing position, noting that the uncomfortable gray mattress I was sitting on has caused a stitch to form in my side. Looking down, my chest is bare. There are faded bruises over my ribs and on my abdomen. I shut my eyes again and try to remember how they got there. The men all dressed in white, their black batons, their grunts and growls as they beat me. It hurt at first, I remember. It hurt when they first cracked my ribs. As the days passed, the pain only got worse. It hurt to breathe, but I couldn't stop, not even when I wanted to. Not even when I heard screams from the cell next door.

It doesn't hurt to breathe now. I touch my fingertips to my side. This one didn't hurt. It looks worse than it feels. The men in white didn't do this.

It was the men in gray.

The sound of water still running forces me to stand. When I do, I find that my body is exhausted, but I have full control of my muscles. I'm not struggling against the effects of a sedative. For some reason, I find this surprising.

"Hello?" I ask, afraid of who or what might respond.

But there is no answer.

I step into what's obviously a bathroom. There's a toilet, a sink, and a shower that's currently running with water so hot, I can barely see 6 inches in front of my face.

"Is anyone in there?"

No answer.

I slowly reach for the shower curtain. It's white, and nearly glows against the gray tiles that line the room. I curl my fingers around it and quickly yank it back.

It's empty. The water is on, but it's empty. What a waste. I reach inside of the shower and burn the back of my hand as I turn the water off.

I look around the bathroom. There's a mirror in here, but it doesn't conceal a cabinet. There's a toothbrush, but it's shorter than the ones I've used before. There's a dispenser attached to the wall for toothpaste and shaving cream, but there's no razor. There's nothing sharp in here at all.

My bladder is full and so I stand in front of the toilet. As I relieve myself, the white contours of the toilet bowl glow a shimmery gold, but I'm somehow able to blink it away. I sigh in relief.

I step back into the room with the bed and survey the room. There's a wooden table with two wooden chairs. There's nothing on the walls, but I take notice of a large window on the far wall. It's glass, but it's cloudy, faded. There's no seeing through it. There's a door next to the window, but there no handle.

This is a cell, too.

It's not so much an attempt to escape as it is an effort to find out if it's real that I pick one of the chairs and smash it against the window. The wood splinters in my hands, the legs giving against the strong glass and clamoring to the floor. The glass doesn't even crack. I growl in frustration, but then I'm startled by a sound behind me. It sounds like a radio, and when I turn around, I'm met with a television screen. Black and white speckles are quickly replaced by the image of an older man.

"Hello, Peeta. How are you feeling today?"

I furrow my brow as I take a step closer. "Who are you?"

"My name is Dr. Aurelius. I'm here to help you."

I furrow my brow. "Doctor?"

"Yes."

"What kind of doctor?"

"I'm a psychiatrist."

I roll my eyes. "I don't need a psychiatrist."

But the man only smiles and adjusts his glasses. I take the opportunity to look around for evidence of how they're monitoring me, whoever they are. There are small black cameras covered by rounded glass in each corner. I assume I won't be able to break the protective glass any more than I could break the window.

"Where am I?" I demand.

"You're safe."

"That's not an answer."

"I would be happy to answer your questions, Peeta. Honestly and in person, if you'll allow it."

I eye the screen suspiciously.

"I'll allow it." If it will get them to open the door, that is.

Dr. Aurelius sighs. "You do remember what happened last time?"

I shake my head slowly. "No."

"Peeta, the last time I came to visit you, you attacked myself and three other guards."

I look at him, confused. I don't remember that at all. I don't remember ever meeting him. But with his words, the memory begins to resurface, a blurry piecemeal dream. The men in gray, holding me down, injecting me with God knows what. I hate needles. "I... I won't attack anyone."

I'm not sure if it's a promise I can keep. But that door is the only way I see out of here.

Dr. Aurelius turns his head and mutters quietly to someone off screen. I don't catch it all, only a few words including _coherence_, _reason_... and _calm_. Was I not this calm the last time he tried to speak with me? He turns back to the screen.

"Peeta, I'm going to come in and we're going to talk for a little while. But if you do anything-"

"I won't."

Dr. Aurelius nods and then the screen shuts off. I hear movement behind me as the door with no knob slides open. Dr. Aurelius appears in the doorway, surrounded in bright light that's almost shiny. I try to look beyond him and see two figures. Dr. Aurelius holds his hand up. "I don't think your presence will be necessary, gentlemen." He narrows his eyes at me. "I think Peeta and I will be just fine talking on our own today."

"But Coin says-"

"Never mind what Coin says. I'm his physician. You'll wait outside."

The two men in gray share a look. "We'll be right outside this door."

The door slides shut behind Dr. Aurelius and he takes the remaining chair at the wooden table. He gestures for me to sit on the bed.

"I'm sorry I broke the chair," I begin. An apology seems like a good place to start.

Dr. Aurelius sighs. "Our resources are limited here, Peeta. I don't think that will be replaced."

"Why am I in this room? Why can't I get out? Am I a prisoner?"

"You're not a prisoner. But I can't let you out yet. You've been a danger to yourself and to others in the community."

"The community? Where are we?" I ask.

Dr. Aurelius eyes me suspiciously. "We're in District 13. You're currently in block-"

"There's no District 13," I say, but I don't know that for certain. She wanted to run away. She wanted me to run away with her. There were girls in the woods who told her about this place... Weren't there?

"Yes," Dr. Aurelius says. "There is."

I don't argue with him. I don't want to make him angry. "How long have I been here then?"

"A week, since you were rescued."

"Rescued?"

"From the Capitol."

"The Capitol..."

"Do you remember being rescued?"

I shake my head.

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Her," I say too quickly. Dr. Aurelius studies my face as I clear my throat. "I remember her... Kissing her goodbye. She... I was supposed to see her at midnight."

"Who?"

I shake my head. I shut my eyes as I try to remember her, but I can't. There are only bits and pieces. The feel of her lips against mine. The sound of her voice as she sang to me. The way she smelled, like pine trees and a summer day. "I don't know."

Dr. Aurelius sighs. He removes a small plastic device from his pocket and points it at the television behind me.

"Is this the woman you remember?"

I turn my head and gasp as my eyes fall on a woman. No - a mutt. Surrounded by shiny golden light, she sneers at the camera. Her eyes are red and her are teeth pointed. I stand up and take a step back too quickly, falling backward over the bed.

"No! I'd never touch that filthy mutt!" I scramble to my feet and search for something, anything to throw at the screen. The splintered chair will do. I grab a piece of wood and raise my arm, ready to throw, but the screen suddenly goes black, giving me pause.

"Peeta, you need to calm down immediately, or the guards will come in here."

I didn't realize I was crying until I blink and feel tears streaming down my face. I nod my head and drop the wooden splinter. I sit back on the bed, facing away from the screen, and hold my head my hands.

"Peeta, can you tell me about the woman you just saw?"

I nod my head. "She... She wants to kill me."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because she's tried before."

"When?"

"When we were in the woods. She dropped a beehive on me..."

"During your first Games?"

I look at him confused. "What?"

"During your first time as a tribute in the Hunger Games," he explains.

"The Hunger Games?"

Dr. Aurelius sighs. "Peeta, what's your last name?"

I don't answer. I don't have an answer for him.

Dr. Aurelius looks disappointed. "And where are you from?"

"District 12."

"Do you know why you were sent to the Capitol?"

I nod my head. "To train."

"To train for what?"

Again... I don't have an answer.

"I'm going to leave now."

His announcement catches me off guard. "But you said you'd answer my questions."

"I will. But there are some things I will need to show you first. Perhaps they will answer a few of your questions."

"So you'll be back?"

"Tomorrow. At this same time. Is that okay with you?"

I nod my head. It's not like I have much of a choice.

And then he's gone.

Xoxoxoxoxo

I pace back and forth in the room, kicking the wooden splinters and metal nails out of my way. No one has come to visit. According to the clock in the corner of the television screen, Dr. Aurelius left over 16 hours ago. I'm surprised no ones fed me yet. Or that no ones come to clean up the mess that used to be a chair. The remnants could potentially be used as weapons. Crude, yes, but likely effective weapons. Or I could hurt myself with them. It could be some kind of test. I know they're monitoring my every move. I have a feeling that nothing Dr. Aurelius does is by coincidence.

The television has been playing images that are probably meant to soothe: an ocean, a lush forest, a sandy shore. But each image only stirs more confusing feelings in me than the last. The ocean makes my skin burn, the water reminding me of poisonous open sores. The forest conceals the hateful eyes of large animals, the growls still echoing in my head. The sandy beach... my lips tingle and I lick them slowly. This image doesn't frighten me... but it makes me feel hopeful. I blink the thought away. The feeling is just as troublesome as the irrational fear the other images trigger.

"I wish you'd turn this shit off," I say on the off chance that someone is paying attention to me. A moment later, the screen goes black. I'm _am_ being closely watched. "I'm going to take a shower," I announce, since I'm obviously not alone.

I step into the bathroom and lean into the shower, turning on the water. I make it hot, too hot to stand under. As the room fills with steam, I can hear the winding sound of a camera adjusting. I look in the corners of the bathroom. There aren't any cameras in here. But as I stand in front of the sink, I realize I can still see one of the cameras in the main room. I shuck off my pants and step into the shower, hearing the camera struggle to keep me in sight. But by the time I feel the hot water on my skin, I can't see the camera anymore, and I'm confident it can't see me.

I adjust the temperature of the water down to something bearable. The steam begins to clear, but that's okay since no one can see me. At least I don't think they can. The water hits my back and I press my hands against the tiles. I let it soak my hair, closing my eyes and moving my head back and forth slowly.

I was never tortured with water. The men in white saved that particular hell for Johanna.

My eyes fly open as my thoughts become clear. Torture. I was tortured. By the men in white. But why? And that name. Johanna. I... Can't remember anything else about her. I bring my finger to my lips. Is she the one I kissed?

No.

I scratch at the grout between the tiles of the shower as I try to make sense of the jumble of new memories as they become clear. Johanna's screams, the sound of running water, and the buzz of something electric in the background. My own screams, screams of protest, begging them to stop. The rumble of my stomach as they punished me, starved me, for trying to stop them.

The water doesn't go cold. It doesn't shut off. I could stay in here as long as I want. I feel alone. That was once a bad thing; I don't know why, but right now, I relish it.

"Peeta?" A tangible voice brings me out of my thoughts. I poke my head out of the shower, but no one's there. "Peeta, are you ready to speak with me?"

"Oh... uh... Yeah!" I shut off the water and step out of the shower. I wrap a towel around my waist as I walk back into the main room and find Dr. Aurelius's face on the television screen, as I suspected.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your shower."

"No, it's fine." According to the time displayed on the screen, I've been in there for over an hour. "Come on in."

He smiles and nods his head once. The screen goes black and a moment later, the door slides open.

"Sorry to waste so much water."

"Our water is purified and recycled here. It won't go to waste, though it is a drain on our electricity."

"Sorry," I repeat.

"It's quite alright, Peeta. If the long showers make you feel better, then we'll allow that for now."

Dr. Aurelius steps inside. He looks around the room, and his eyes fall on the splintered pile of wood and metal that yesterday was a chair. "I can have someone come clean that up for you."

"No," I shake my head. "I'll clean it up. I'm not really feeling up to visitors right now."

"Oh, I see. Would you prefer I go?"

"No," I say. I'm not entirely sure he would leave if I said yes anyway. "You're fine. I just... No one else yet, okay?"

"Okay." Dr. Aurelius is carrying a large book in his hands. "Peeta, may I show you some pictures?"

"First tell me where Johanna is."

He stills. "Johanna?"

"She's here, isn't she?"

"Yes. She's been assigned a compartment on the third level. You remember Johanna?" I nod my head. I kind of do. "What do you remember about her?"

The sound of her screaming. "Not much. Just I know she was with me when I was... Wherever I was."

"You're right." Dr. Aurelius sits on the remaining wooden chair and I stand on the other side of the table. "You'll be happy to know she's doing well right now. I speak with her daily, too. Would you like to see her?"

"No!" I clear my throat. "I mean, not yet. But maybe soon."

"Alright." He opens the book and flips a few pages. "I'd like to show you some images. Is that okay with you?"

I nod my head and press my palms flat on the table.

"Do you know what this is?" He tips the book, allowing me to see a picture of a jagged rock. I step closer and recognize it as a map of Panem.

"That's Panem."

"Yes. Here you have the Capitol, surrounded on all sides by districts, each with a specific task. District 1 makes luxury items, District 2-"

"I know about the districts." I furrow my brow. "They all have different bread."

"Do they?"

I nod my head. "District 1-"

"That's very interesting, Peeta. Where did you learn that?"

"I'm not sure," I admit. "What kind of bread do you have here in District 13?"

"We make loaves out of wheat and then slice them. And then freeze the slices."

I grimace at that. Frozen bread. What the hell?

"I take it you don't like that?"

"I like fresh bread."

"That doesn't surprise me." Dr. Aurelius chuckles. "You are a baker, right?"

"I am. So is my father." My eyes widen. "Where is my father?" Dr. Aurelius's smile fades and I feel the blood drain from my face. "What happened?"

"Peeta, right now Panem is at war. The districts have risen up against the Capitol. You yourself have played a big role in the rebellion." I furrow my brow as he speaks.

"Is that why I was tortured?"

"Yes. You and um, _others_ have been important to the cause. A cause which we here in 13 support."

"Why me?"

"Because you gave the people hope."

"How did I do that?"

Dr, Aurelius sighs. "I'm worried we may be discussing too much here. I think we should keep these sessions brief for now, don't you?"

"No. Tell me what I did." Dr. Aurelius shakes his head. "Please. I promise I won't freak out or anything."

Dr. Aurelius holds my gaze as he thinks it over. I guess he's deciding how much he thinks I can handle. "You were sent into an arena to kill or be killed, with 23 other children."

"I killed people?"

"Yes, you and your fian- your ally."

"Ally?"

"Yes. You triumphed, but in doing so you upset the balance of power in the Capitol."

"By killing people," I repeat. "Killing children?"

"Yes." Dr. Aurelius folds his hands. "I know it's a lot to take in, and it may not make much sense right now. But you and your ally caused quite a stir. You got into trouble again, also not your fault, but you did. We attempted to recuse you both, but-"

"Was Johanna my ally?"

"She was, but she's not who I'm referring to."

"Who are you referring to?"

Dr. Aurelius purses his lips before he answers. "Her name is Katniss Everdeen."

I sigh. I don't... I don't recognize the name.

"Do you remember Katniss?" I shake my head. "Interesting..."

"She's the girl I kissed. Isn't she?"

"Yes."

"Where is she?"

"She's here. Would you like to see her?"

"No! Not yet anyway. I don't really remember her."

"That's not a problem. When you're ready though, I'm sure she'd like to see you." He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. There's something he's not telling me. "There are quite a few people who would like to see you."

"My parents?" I ask, though somehow I already know the answer is no. Dr. Aurelius shakes his head. He doesn't sugar coat anything. "My brothers?"

"Your family members are casualties of the war. I'm sorry, Peeta."

I step back and sit on the bed, my eyes fixed on the smooth gray wall.

Dr. Aurelius shuts the book in front of him. "That's definitely enough for today. I'll be back tomorrow, and we can discuss further." I don't answer. He stands and makes his way towards the door and I don't watch him leave.

A moment later a small panel in the door slides open and gray fabric is pushed inside the room, followed by a tray of sludge, which is probably what these people call food. The television screen flickers on. This time it looks like a window, showing me outside. It's raining, and water droplets condense on the glass. Uninterested, I fall backwards onto the bed.

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><p><em>You know us, BitchesLoveSprinkles &amp; MockingJayFlyingFree on Tumblr. Let us know if you like the story :)<em>


	2. Exploration

_Thank you again to Chelzie for beta'ing and lauraulubee for prereading!_

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><p>Pacing. Pacing. That's all I can do.<p>

I'm wearing the ugly gray jumpsuit they provided. The fabric is stiff and scratches my skin. I'm almost grateful I'm missing half a leg.

The shuffling of my feet is my only real company. It helps to have something to focus on that isn't forced. Something that doesn't suggest a mood or attempt to control my emotions. Like that television. That damn screen won't stop playing "soothing sounds." I objected to the scenic lookouts, so they switched to swirling colors with classical sounding music playing in the background. It isn't much better, but at least it's less confusing. Hues of orange and green fade and mix like food coloring dropped into milk. The colors are beautiful, but they in no way compare to what I can do with icing... Or with my paintbrush.

It seems I'm a painter, too.

I bring my fingertips to my cheek. "Thank you. That looks beautiful," I whisper to myself, though I don't know why. I'm not sure how my mind works right now. But it feels like a memory is trying to resurface. It's not quite there.

The broken chair in the corner has been taunting me for some time now. The legs are broken off, and splintered wood lies in a pile. I decide it's time to clean it up. I collect the larger pieces, setting them aside. It looks like I can easily reattach three of the legs back to the seat of the chair. But the backrest lies in ruin, so the most I can hope for here is a stool. I collect the smaller pieces of wood as much as I can. There's no garbage in here, apart from the empty food tray that will be collected later, so that's where I deposit the wood pieces. There are three errant nails that I suppose held the back rest together and I wonder if I can use them to help hold the chair together. I hold the nails loosely in my hand as I make my way into the bathroom and wash them off in the sink.

The music on the television is louder now, and on a loop, playing over and over. I turn on the water and step into the shower, if only to have a break from the noise.

The hot water soothes my sore muscles but it doesn't help much else. I'm scratching at the grout between the large tiles, trying not to miss my father terribly when a sharp pain shoots through my hand. A piece of white chalky material is stuck under my nail, breaking the skin, but not bleeding. Grout.

My eyes widen with realization. The grout. I can scratch the grout.

It's foggy enough in here that I chance it, and in one quick motion, I retrieve the nail from the sink. I step back into the shower.

I use the pointed end of the nail to scrape at the grout, beginning where my fingernails left off. The sounds of my scratches are drowned out by the falling water and I work quickly, desperately. The water from the shower washes away the evidence of my efforts.

The tiles are large, each square about the size of the boxes we used to package 10-inch cakes at my parents' bakery. I lean against the wall, taking the weight off of my bed leg while I remove the grout from the top and sides of the tile in front of me before it wiggles. A few minutes later, it's loose enough for me to inch it closer. It's heavy, the depth of it much more than I expected. But I'm strong, still strong somehow, and I pull it out completely, setting it onto the floor with minimal noise.

I turn back to the tiled wall, now with a large gap in front of me. No light shines through from the other side. But I stick my hand through the hole and feel... a breeze.

"Peeta?"

I'm startled at hearing Dr. Aurelius's voice, dropping the nails and shutting off the water. I step out of the shower, nearly slipping, and move back into the main room with a towel around my waist.

"Yeah?"

"Are you ready to begin today's session?"

"Sure."

I dry my hands as I sit back down on the bed. The door slides open and Dr. Aurelius steps inside. "Good afternoon," he begins.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling today?"

"Good, I think." I don't ask how he's doing. "I'm keeping busy, sort of." Busy trying to escape.

"Oh?"

"I cleaned up the chair. I'm going to fix it."

Dr. Aurelius nods his head in approval.

"Do you feel up to looking at some photos today?"

"I guess." I shrug a shoulder. "More photos of Panem?"

"Today, I'd like to show you some photos of people."

I sit on the bed, and Dr. Aurelius opens a folder. "Do you recognize her?"

It's a photo of a girl. She's young. Blonde. And familiar. "I'm not sure. Is she important?"

"Yes," Dr. Aurelius sighs. "Her name is Primrose Everdeen."

"Everdeen?"

"Yes."

"Katniss Everdeen's sister?"

"Yes."

Dr. Aurelius takes the photo from my hand. "I have something to confess to you, Peeta." I narrow my eyes at him. "Your treatment here has not been limited to our sessions."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the television has been playing a specific song on a loop. Do you recognize it?"

"No."

"It's called _The_ _Valley_ _Song_. You once said it was significant to you."

"Oh."

"Additionally, the air vents have been filtering small amounts of morphling into the air."

"You've been drugging me?"

"We've been keeping you calm, but lucid. How do you feel now?"

"Calm, I guess."

"That's good. Because what I'm about to tell you might be upsetting." He pauses giving me a chance to object, but I don't. "You have been the victim of an elegant, but ruthless form of brainwashing. Your memories have been altered, some even erased completely, in an attempt to turn you against the rebellion."

"Against Katniss," I finish.

"Yes. All of this was done using the venom of a mutated insect, called a tracker jacker. You said you have the memory of 'bees' in the woods, correct?" I nod my head. "We are attempting to reverse the process."

"With more drugs."

"Yes."

I look away, unsure of how I feel. Anger is easy enough to identify. I've been manipulated. I'm a pawn in someone's game. But whose?

I don't think this is the first time I've been used.

Dr. Aurelius holds up the picture of Primrose again. "Using the morphling and the music are her idea. She wants you to get better. Many of us do."

Many of them. But, not _all_ of them. I don't answer.

"Peeta?"

"I'm kind of tired."

Dr. Aurelius sighs. He knows I'm not tired. I've been sleeping plenty. "All right. I'll leave you with your thoughts."

I don't watch him leave.

Xoxoxoxoxoxox

Scratch, scratch, scratch.

I've freed another tile and set it onto the floor during one of my hour-long showers. I wonder what Dr. Aurelius thinks I'm doing in here for all this time. Thinking about my family? About my fragile mind?

Thinking about _her_? He probably thinks I'm jerking off in here.

I look down at the soft flesh between my legs. No. I don't really feel like it right now. I shrug my shoulders at myself and get back to work.

I don't stay in here too long, even though I'm making progress. I can make out pipes in the distance and I know that behind this tiled wall is a corridor of some kind. Removing a tile at chest level only revealed a metal wall. The ceiling on the other side is low... It's sort of a crawl space.

I don't particularly care where it leads, as long as it gets me out of this room.

I shut off the water and dry myself off. I dress in the scratchy gray clothes they've provided. I sit on the bed and watch television. Now that I know it's a part of my therapy, I hate it even more. They keep playing that song, trying to fill in what they think are gaps. But, they're wrong. My memories haven't been deleted. They're just... suppressed somehow.

I look down at my hands. There are no scars, though it seems there should be. I've cut and burned my hands in the bakery too many times to count. But these hands... they almost shine. The skin is too smooth with a pinkish hue. They show no evidence of hard work, of the heavy lifting I've done. There's a callus all of the Mellark men have on the side of the left hand, just under the knuckle of the little finger. But...mine is gone.

I suppose since my father is gone too, it's just as well.

I scratch the side of my hand against the grout, to see if the skin _can_ be scratched. But before I can fully appreciate the pain, _The_ _Valley_ _Song_ stops and I hear Dr. Aurelius's voice. Again.

"Peeta?"

I sigh, but don't answer right away. I let him call my name three times before I emerge from the shower wearing a towel.

"Yeah?" His face appears on the screen, as it does every time. "You're coming in now?" I ask.

"Actually, with your permission, I'd like to try something different today."

I narrow my eyes at the screen. "What's that?"

"I'd like for you to come to me. Would that be alright with you?"

"You mean... leave this room?"

"Yes," Dr. Aurelius says. "If you feel up to it."

"Where are you?" I ask.

"My office is down the hall. The guards could escort you-"

"I don't want guards," I say sharply. Dr. Aurelius nods his head. "But... maybe you could escort me?"

"Peeta, there's no getting around the guards. They'll have to follow you." He tugs at his collar as he thinks it over. "But, for the first time, I suppose I could join you on the walk over." I try to smile, but I'm not sure if I do.

The screen goes black. _The_ _Valley_ _Song_ doesn't play. And by the time I've dressed myself in their scratchy gray jumpsuit, the door slides open and Dr. Aurelius gestures for me to follow him. Admittedly, I hesitate before taking a step out of the room, between two guards. I expect the air to be different out here for some reason, but find it's just as stale. From what I know about District 13, we're underground.

I'm not surprised when I feel the hard slap of cool metal on my wrists. Dr. Aurelius insists that I'm not a prisoner, but I'm certainly not free. He walks ahead of me and two guards follow behind. The corridor they lead me down is gray, narrow, and there's a faint echo in here. I can see the vents on the lower half of the wall, close to the floor, and I wonder if that's the crawl space which leads to the wall behind my shower. It's too dark to see, though, and I'm not asking.

It's a left, then a right, then another left before I'm led past a large room. The scent of stale bread wafts through the air, and it's warmer. There are ovens in here and enough people sitting at tables, eating something that doesn't smell like food, to change the temperature drastically.

Dr. Aurelius stops. "Are you hungry?" he asks.

"What?"

"The cafeteria has apples today. Would you like one?"

I look back into the room. "Cafeteria?" I repeat. I take a closer look around and see that while we're all wearing the same gray jumpsuits, no one else is in chains. "This isn't the prisoner's area?" I ask.

"No, Peeta. This is just the cafeteria. Where we all eat." He gestures around. "Are you hungry?"

I nod my head as I continue to scan the room, which has gotten quieter. And soon, every person I look at is looking back at me. The faces begin to mesh together... until I find a set of blood red eyes.

"Mutt," I swear under my breath. I can feel Dr. Aurelius watching me. This is a test. To see if I can be in the presence of that abomination. I straighten my back, never taking my eyes off the mutt. "Not. Hungry." I twist my hands back and forth, digging the handcuffs into my wrists. The pain helps me focus. This is the first time they've let me out of the room. If I fail this test, there might not be another. I can't get to the mutt now anyway, not with the guards and all the people.

But if I'm patient, and play along with them, perhaps I'll get my chance later. When they let their guard down.

"Okay." Dr. Aurelius gestures to the guards and I feel one of them push me forward.

My feet move, but I crane my neck, holding the mutt's gaze until I can't see into the cafeteria anymore.

"Peeta?" Dr. Aurelius asks. "Has something upset you?"

"No," I lie as I shuffle my feet forward. The edges of the corridors begin to shine, and I twist my hands harder, willing it away.

I take deep breaths, trying to clear my head. There was someone sitting next to the mutt. Someone I've seen before. A tall man with dark hair and gray eyes. He wasn't a mutt, but he looked familiar.

I wanted to attack him, too.

Dr. Aurelius knows I'm slipping. He steps closer and before I can object, I feel a pinch on the side of my arm.

"You're poisoning me," I accuse.

"What?"

"So that mutt can come finish me off?"

"Peeta-"

"Don't deny it." I grit my teeth. It's becoming easier to stay calm though, despite my anger.

"Why don't you have a seat?" He gestures into a room. A heavy metal door with his name on it that leads to another gray room. Surprise.

Sitting isn't so much a suggestion as it is a necessity at this point. The calm has reached my knees.

"I gave you some morphling," Dr. Aurelius explains.

"Why?" I ask, though I already know the answer. Dr. Aurelius doesn't answer my question anyway.

"Peeta, what did you see?"

I keep my mouth shut.

"Whatever you think you saw, it wasn't real."

It was real, alright. I saw the mutt, sitting there, watching me, glaring at me... and she wasn't even shackled. What the hell is going on in this place?

"Would you like to look at some pictures?"

"No."

Dr. Aurelius puts down the same thick book he's been peddling for days. "Would you like to talk about-"

"I don't want to talk about anything."

He purses his lips as he sits down on a metal chair in front of me. "Why don't you tell me what was so upsetting about what you saw?"

"What was upsetting? You put that mutt there to taunt me. To test me."

"This mutt you think you saw. Could you describe her to me?"

"Describe her?"

"In my experience, no two Capitol mutts look alike."

I eye him suspiciously. He's right. Their mutts are all different shapes and sizes. I think back to the monkeys... The ones that I killed... I bring my fingertips to my cheek again.

"I've seen mutts that were monkeys before. But the one out there," I gesture out of the room. "That one almost looks human. Except for the eyes."

"What about the eyes?"

"They're red. Humans don't have red eyes, not even in the Capitol. Her teeth are extra sharp too, like fangs." I run my tongue over the tip of my canines. "But I've seen people with teeth like that before," I say, almost as an afterthought. That was someone else I was supposed to kill, but I don't remember why. I'm calm enough to stop twisting my hands. "Why is the mutt free? And where's Katniss Everdeen?"

"That _was_ Katniss Everdeen."

"No, it wasn't."

"How do you know?" he asks.

"Because... Katniss Everdeen's eyes are gray."

Dr. Aurelius picks up his notepad from his lap and begins to scribble something down. I watch him, quietly forcing myself to stay awake.

"I'd like to show you some pictures, Peeta."

I nod my head.

Xoxoxoxoxox

I've removed 6 tiles. They're lined up in the shower. If anyone so much as sets foot in this room right now, it'll all be for nothing.

But I can't stop.

The steam from the shower escapes through the hole in the wall I've created. The next tile is almost loose enough to pull. Sure, I could yank it, maybe even kick it, but I don't want to risk the noise. I've been in here an hour already. If I stay longer, they might come looking for me. I put the loose tiles back. If you look closely at them, you can see that the grout between them is gone.

I finish my shower and crawl into bed.

I'm not sure how long I sleep. But when I wake up, I head right back into the shower. I turn up the water. I remove the six tiles that are already loose, and I only have to work for 5 minutes before tile number seven is loose enough to be removed without noise. I set it down and I climb into the darkness.

It's damp in here, and I have to crawl. But there's a light up ahead and I recognize that it's coming from the vents in the wall. It must be the corridor outside of my cell. Room. Cell.

The corridor is empty, but the space is a good vantage point to see if anyone plans to visit me.

Finally the crawl space ends, and the ceiling is high enough for me to stand. I'm behind a wall, not 18 inches of wall away from the rest of 13. I can hear people talking, and if I crouch down to the open vents, I can even see them. So I explore. There's a breeze that flows through the corridor, and I drag my nails against the wall, feeling plaster collect under my fingernails. It feels good. Freeing, almost. There are many twists and turns, and I mark each one I take with a letter X so that I can find my way back. I know _freedom_ in here is limited. I also know that there's more to discover than one trip out will allow.

The air changes from a cool breeze to a warm gust and I follow it willingly. Soon the scent of overcooked, undernourished bread fills the air, and I'm almost ashamed to admit that I'm drawn to it. I haven't smelled fresh bread in weeks... months... Maybe even a year.

I find myself in the kitchen. Well, not in the kitchen, but in the air vent located behind it. I press my nose against a mesh of hardened metal and breathe in deeply. The kitchen is empty, the bakers barely tending to their art, and the bread is ready. I look for a way to loosen the frame that separates me from the oven, but I find no reprieve.

I'm stuck. Trapped behind the wall.

I watch, helpless, for another 5 minutes until the bread begins to burn, and I'm powerless to stop it. When I blink, I see her. As she was. Walking away from me. A coil of wire in her hand. Gray eyes, boring into mine. And I can't stop her. "No," I beg. "Don't-" I manage, but I purse my lips to hold back a sob. The trees around her shine so brightly as she walks away, further and further. And soon she leaves my sight.

When I blink, the kitchen is empty. The bread has burned. No one in this entire district seems to give a shit. So I turn away.

I meander back through the corridor, following the trail of X's I've left for myself, wondering where else this hallway leads.

There are questions I need to ask, answers I seek. But the one that matters most... where is _she_?

* * *

><p>We're loving the discussion this fic has started. Let's keep it going!<p>

So now you know where the title comes from. Peeta is able to wander he outer perimeter of district 13. What he experiences behind the wall will be essential to his coping with being hijacked and making his way back it Katniss,

More characters will be introduced in the next chapter. Among the people who spend time with Peeta in this fic will be Prim, Delly, Haymitch, and even Boggs. We're sure you'll like the Everlark in this too.

But before then we have other stories to update for you. Look out for Everclear next weekend, and When I Go the following weekend. 7 Steps, Rerun, and The Miners Wife are being worked on too and should all be updated before things get crazy - Mockingjay premieres and the Thanksgiving holiday comes around. So realistically, Behind the Wall chapter 3 will be published at the end of the month. Be sure to follow us both on tumblr, BitchesLoveSprinkles and MockingjayFlyingFree, in case anything changes.

We're doing our best to stay on top of these stories for you. We hope you continue to enjoy them.


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